Coldest State - Hottest Governor

I've been wondering all afternoon just how John McCain happens to fit through doorways carrying those HUGE BALLS of his!

Sarah Palin:

Mother of 5
Former Commercial Fisher(wo)man
Lifetime NRA Member
Hunter
Current Governor of Alaska
Has pissed off the Republican party in AK time and time again
Doesn't play ball with the oil lobby.
and HOTTTTT!!!!!


Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not a McCain fan, but good lord.. The guy's got some guts.

I salute you Ms. Vice President!

Choose your poison

In talking to a friend on the phone the other night, the question came up somehow as to how we would want to die. Not that either one of us wanted to explore this possibility anytime in the next 70 or so years, but if we got to choose, how would it be?

She opted for death quietly during sleep, while I on the other hand looked more toward a fierce gun battle to save orphans and starving Buddhist monks from certain doom at the hands of Nazi invaders from Mars. That Bon Jovi song (Blaze of Glory) kept rattling through my head as I was saying this. People for years would say, "Yea, that Robey was a bad sombich. He killed no less than 50 of those Nazis before his Astra jammed." "Brantely told him that would happen."

Ending one's own life in the defense of another seems mildly brave (albeit foolhardy), but to think of bringing all of humanity and quite possibly the universe to an end with the flick of a switch in the name of science seems a little loony to me.

Enter the Large Hadron Collider.

What is it? It's a particle accelerator. A big one. So big in fact, that when it's finally turned on scientists expect to recreate the effects of the big bang on a small scale by smashing pieces of atoms together at just barely sub-lightspeed. Let me say that again... RECREATE THE BIG BANG on a small scale.

If ever there was something on earth to be scared of, this is it.

Why? But the guys in white coats say it'll be ok. They say they think the chances of something catastrophic happening are almost nil!

They THINK it'll be ok.. Nope. They don't know for sure. If it does go bad it's going to be VERY VERY VERY bad. Bending and warping space-time and rendering matter into nothingness. All those things that Einstein said couldn't happen with physics are what they are trying to do.

I've watched the progression of a lawsuit for the past few months that was filed in District Court in Hawaii (I don't know why) in an attempt to stop these freaks from doing the biggest redneck stunt in history. The suit failed miserably.

Now next month, we get to see a bunch of guys in lab coats in Europe collectively say "Hold my beer and watch this!"

So what if things go right? What if Robey's doomsday scenario doesn't play out?

Well then science as we know it will be forever changed. Advances will be made in some field that will give new life to Steven Hawking's crippled little pecker, and I'll get to enjoy another bow season.

If things go bad.. Well, maybe there's an upside to this. Good buddy Raymond Testiclees (an under appreciated art student at Murray State University and one helluva catfish noodler) had this to say on the subject:

"Holy shit, My life suddenly has more purpose than to draw pictures all god damn day. I need to assemble a rag-tag team of hairy gun-head miscreants to destroy that Hadron Collider machine. It
must go. But then again...it's awesome to think that this stuff might be true. We're going to bite the dust one way or another, but wouldn't it be cool to look at our current existence from
whatever ghost state awaits us after death, drink a a beer together and say "You know why I'm dead? Because I'm so mother fucking smart. That's why, ass hole. How about that one, God?"
Cheers, men. This round'll be on me."

Yes Raymond is destined to hell along with the rest of us, but it's gonna he a road trip to remember.

To further freak yourselves out:
From Cracked.com
The 5 Scientific Experiments Most Likely to End the World
and
More on the Hadron Collider from Wikipedia

Best,

wkb

Ronald Gets His

Well folks, at the direction of a friend we have exhibit A:









Reminds me of a time growing up in small town Kentucky. Not much in the little two stoplight community but a McDonalds, and a bunch of rowdy kids with no direction and nothing better to do than sit in a field and drink. One summer, said McD's featured a GIANT inflatable Ronald McDonald on the roof. Same summer saw all of the afore mentioned rowdy kids spending entirely too much time in fields with campfires and cheap liquor. I vividly remember piling no less than 8 people into a Ford Ranger at eleven-o-clock to satisfy the munchies, and refresh the stocks of firewater.
Those SOB's at McDonalds decided to close at 10:30!! WTF?!? What on earth gave them the right? We were drunk, hungry, hot, and our buddy just took a massive shit on my 4-wheeler. Nothing was going to fix this except a small truck full of $0.57 cheeseburgers, and now our only viable option for vittles was closed.
Revenge. Vendetta. Payback.... It had to be that redhead on the roof's fault. He just sat there looking at us with that shit-eating grin.
It had to be silent, but effective... Crossbow..
I had a crappy old crossbow sitting in my closet that hadn't been touched in two or three years, but I had the plan. We drive back to the farm, get the weapon, and head out.
We figured that driving by and flinging arrows through his head would have Mr. McDonald laying over the front of the building by the time the breakfast crew got there. So, we did it. I'm not saying who, but someone drove by six times, and six arrows connected squarely in Ronald's eight foot head. But nothing happened. Those McDonalds corporate suits had obviously planned for this contingency, and Ronald was being constantly fed from below with the exhaust from the A/C. You can imagine the dejection...
So, we loaded up the rodeo aficionados in the same truck, drove down the road, and they roped us a goat out of someone's field. We ate well that night despite the corporate man trying to keep us down.

In the beginning....

Well, after much rumination, I've decided to start a blog. Why? God only knows, but surely it'll give me some outlet for the crazy things that seem to follow me around like a plague of locust.

So, tell a friend, who will in turn tell two more friends, and surely within a week we will have taken over the interwebs. Great things to come I'm sure.

My rules will be simple enough. I'll do my best to change names to protect the guilty, and uphold the reputations of my esteemed colleagues and friends. I'll try REAL HARD to keep language somewhat appropriate (but I think we all know that some situations deserve swearing).
I'll look to those of you who choose to comment on my ramblings for advice and will try and feature some "ghost writers" from time to time.

In all, I guess just be patient while I figure out this blogging thing, and we'll see where it goes.

Best,

wkb